mighty to save
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
When everyone needs compassion,
And love that never fails,
Let mercy fall on me
When everyone needs forgiveness,
Kindness of the Saviour
The Hope of the nation
Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My god is mighty to save,
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything that i believe in
Now i surrender (and i surrender)
Shine a light in and let the whole world see
Singing, for the glory of the risen king
Jesus, Shine a light and let the whole world see
Singing for the glory of the risen king
oh so strained.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
bleah.
i feel tired.
i feel overcomitted.
do i really want to be a prefect?
do i really want to do IvP?
do i really want to do OM?
i wonder.
some people are just
not commited...
they just dont turn up!
either that or they go and the are
useless.grrh.
dont make me want to SLAUGHTER everyone i know.
and want me to dieeeeeee!
its not the words, its the actions.
sigh....
i dont really have to do any of these things lah, you see...
but for experience.
but for learning.
but for FUN?!
define
funhaha.
stupid lah.
i feeeeeel ill.
seriously.
during maths exam, i suddenly had a stomach cramp.
in the middle of nowhere, some contraction pain
like the gastric enzymes eating your stomach acid.
bleah.
too little food?
i felt like i was coming down with a running nose this morning.
AND MY MATHS IS SCREWED.
then prefects, haha.
got asked by peiyi to put my tie properly caused i loosoned the button.
grrh.
do i really want to be a prefect?
i think i really dont ACT like one.
so much for
"in accepting our appointment as prefects,
solemnly affirm our loyalty to the ________________,
to be a good example to our fellow prefects and students,
and to do all duties seriously and justly."
kill me lah, just kill me i dont mind dying.
im in some super horrible stressed emo-ed mood now
GRRH.
GIVE ME A BREAK, PLEASE!
mean SERIOUSLY!
)):
Saturday, February 24, 2007
you just spoiled my mood
you make me want to die now
traffic lights.
red green red green.
thats all they do the whole time.
stop go stop go.
what if people ignored it,
stood in pretence as if there werent such a thing?then crash, blood, crash, blood.
death?
possibilility?
i ran across the road when the red man was still flashing.
haha.
death?
blindspots?
cries?
hmm. i got to study physical science and maths. oh wells.
JIAYOUU TO EVERYONE WHO READS THIS (:
:D
for no rhyme or reason,
im in a happy mood.
haha.
funny eh?
got performance at living waters tmr!
o salutaris hostia.
lol.
i still feel that, like a 60 odd strong choir, is still better than an 80,
it sounds so much cleaner. haha.
anyway,
i dunno what i should blog about.
i guess im quite contented with my grades so far x)
heh.
im so scared for life sci lah
i did so badly.
:S:S
oh sigh.
i COULD have done better.
thats what they all saywhat was i doing on the night before...
watching tv,
msning,
doing anything except studying.
oh greatttt. x((((
cmon lah joel yap!
why you so lazy one.
even a pigggg is better than you lah.
haha.
what a way to criticize someone.
at least i ran today.
but toooooo short
haha.
should have done four ks
bleah
only did like 3 plus after considering the fact that i ran from my house to the mrt station, haha.
):
Friday, February 23, 2007
problems problems problems...
whats life without problems.
can you even call it life?
sighh.
why do i feel all of a sudden all alone.
by myself.
when you hang around with ppl,
do they actually influence you?
or you influence them?
i guess im like succumbing to alittle, okay fine,
a lot of peer pressure i guess.
whats with me?
im like eating in class,
drinking flavoured drinks,
becoming a whole different person.
why?
is it all that peer pressure
or i think it is what i feel
comfortable with.
why do i do such things?
arent prefects supposed to be
role modelsppl who look up onto and say
"WAH, PREFECT!"
like said in awe of you or smth like that.
but now its like,
when ppl see me,
they would now say,
"PREFECT?!"
hmm.
sighhya.
so howwww?
what happened to you joel yap?
anyway,
somethings are happening to ........
i say
"being a leader is no easy task so have fun while you are at it"
am i good leader.
one where ppl listen and enjoy being led under you.
or am i one who just shout at ppl, being so demanding
making everybody follow you.
ppl just take you for grated.
you with a good heart want to help ppl out,
turns out that you just causing more trouble for yourself.
i want to be your friends.
i dont want to just be a cold leader.
one stupid arrogant leader.
one person that will be so easy to forget.
one that i dont care about.
aiyah,
so howw?
grades arent all that matter.
so what if you have done well?
will ppl actually say
"WAH, WELL DONE! OMG YOU DID SO WELL LAH!"
would ppl really truthfully say such things?
it doesnt matter.
ppl will probabaly just in the long run just see whether you are a CEO, CFO, COO,
all those three letter long initials.
they dont look at your heart.
they just look at your resume...
thats it lah.
what is our class coming to?
what is our board coming to?
what is our world coming to?
x(
Thursday, February 22, 2007
my schedule has just became even more hectic.
oh well.
science competition.
om.
syf choir.
chior performance at living waters.
choir performance on founders day.
nccsea? quit?
prefect hr duties?
aiyah.
i just want to quit ncc sea.
i wished i could quit.
i just cant stand all the commitments.
im not superman.
Superman Five for FightingI can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me
I’m more than a bird...i’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see
It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me
Up, up and away...away from me
It’s all right...you can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy...or anything...
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me
I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
I’m only a man
Looking for a dream
I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it’s not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...
Its not easy to be me
happy lunar new year :D
Sunday, February 18, 2007
tired. visitations.
dead. restless.
why are you still like that?
its so irritating.
i want to try to help you out.
but you just shut me out of your door.
i wish...it wont happen.
not now, not anymore.
Commonwealth Essay Competition
Friday, February 16, 2007
Commonwealth Essay Competition
It was suddenly all quiet.
How did I land here? Where was I? Questions just came and went away.
I recall …
There was not a single sound heard. Even the drop of a pin would be clearly audible. I checked my surroundings. I glanced around. There was no one, or at least that was what I thought it had been. I continued my stroll down the boardwalk, reflecting on how the days of my life pass ever so quickly, time ticking, mercilessly, and my father… How consumed I was by my job. Oh I hate that feeling.
It was a dark and serene night. The sound of my handphone ringing as clear as a bell broke the silence. It was from my home, someone called my home but there was nobody at the other side of the line. It was dead.
A thousand thoughts raced through my mind as if they were sprinting for a 100 metres race. “What if …? Could it be …?” I was worried and anxious. I swallowed my saliva, took deep breaths and chose to calm myself down. I continued to walk down the boardwalk which led me home. I was thinking deeply, of my ex-wife, when she left me because I abandoned her for my work. The final words she said still remain in my mind as if it happened yesterday. She would utter, “Work, work, work! Is that all you do?”
There was another shadow dancing on the wall. My heart skipped a beat. I glanced back, what could it be? Not a single soul, there was. All there was a dark black dustbin. I then heard crows squealing. It was an awful and sharp noise. I put on my pullover as it began to get chillier. The bitter cold wind blew on my face, holding nothing back.
I continued to ponder. The people I had worked with the previous years. My colleagues, the people who I spent the most amount of time my whole life. Oh, that feeling of nostalgia. How I wish I had not been so sidetracked on my career, and ignore my family, the people who resemble me, my ageing parents. There was another sound.
I heard footsteps. They seemed to be following me. Every time I turned back, the sound would fade away. As weird as it appears to be, I knew there had been somebody falling me. This time I was really sure, I could bet my life on it. But what could it be?
I contemplated and deliberated…
“Ring! Ring!” My phone rang. It was from my home again.
And again, nobody answered. I could feel shivers going down my spine. I knew somehow, something was wrong. But as strange as it occurs to be, I would not be able to find out what the sound was. Just when I was about to remove my ear from the earpiece, there was a sound, a faint one. I wondered what it had been. It sounded as if it were like a cry, however, it was a hushed one. My children! I dropped everything and sprinted, like the old days when I competed in sprints and races. There were sounds behind me just that, they sounded thunderous. The footsteps—they were coming nearer. I could not look back, although how much I wanted to. Too little willpower caused me to succumb to temptation.
Two huge sinister shadowy figures faced me. My feet were rooted to the grounded. I was too dumbfounded to do anything. I was petrified. It took me a few seconds before I got back to my senses. Just when it seemed like I was about to get caught and it would all be over, I felt the sudden urge to just sprint as fast as I could all the way, as if the finish line was just a few metres away. There had been a bend at the next intersection. I knew this place well as this had been my daily running route. There was a small narrow alley a few metres away. I was about to make it. It was within my reach.
Bang! I crashed and tripped over some stones. The alley was just a few strides away. The excruciating pain was too much for any ordinary person to handle. I looked down. “My knee!” I yelped. It had been so bloody. The fresh blood was just oozing out, seemingly like it would never stop. The footsteps — they were coming nearer. My life was in serious danger. I mustered the courage I had within and struggled towards the alley. I hopped with one leg as I got into the alley.
They dashed passed me. “Phew!” I sighed in relief, thinking all would go well now. Unfortunately, as the footsteps seem to fade to the surroundings, they suddenly picked up in volume again. They were coming for me! I hobbled into what I thought was a safe area. Luckily, they just scurried past me, overlooking the narrow pathway.
Now, I guess I should be safe, for the current moment at least. I punched in the three numbers onto my handphone. 9-9-…
“HEH! You have been surrounded. You can run but you can’t hide!” that figure commanded.
There was no way of escaping now. Really. No way. I may as well surrender to him now, I guess that was the best way… unfortunately. POOF!
I had a blackout. How did I land here? Where was I? Questions just came and went away. Now I think I know why. How was I going to get out of here? How are my children doing? Why am I being caught, why not somebody else? Are things going to go the way I hope it will?
The place seemed to be an old dilapidated warehouse, one that was rotting horribly, and in bad condition. It was enormous, however I was the only one there. I was troubled but I gave a little bit more thought. A realisation struck me.
The place seemed awfully familiar, just that all the boxes were gone and I was tied up all alone. It seemed to be… YES! I know what it was. It was a warehouse I used to be stationed on the outskirts of New York City. Oh that city with the hustle and bustle of life. How I have already started to miss it.
As I was plotting for my escape, the kidnapper arrived. He was the same person that carried me, into a van, if I remember correctly.
With a crooked smile, he assumed, “You must be Donald Trump Jr. right?”
His voice sounded so recognizable, as if I knew him so well. I nodded my head, tried to start a decent conversation when his smile became a frown and then he demanded silence.
“You must be wondering why I brought you here, why you got called by your phone but couldn’t answer, or hear any reply? Am I not wrong?”
Wow, he got every exact detail that I wanted. I knew this, I should have long guessed. He was my brother.
“AH. Now I know, you want me dead, so you can take over dad’s wealth, don’t you? I should have guessed. You…incorrigible man up to such intolerable tasks. You always were jealous of me being the apple of dad’s eye. So you…you became a delinquent. Whenever dad wanted to help you, you just took his advice for nothing. You totally ignored him. You were the cause of his death. After your call you made to him the other night, he just collapsed on his bed. It was entirely your fault!” I retorted.
“Now when I inherit everything from dad, you get so agitated, so jealous. Such people do not deserve to live” I added.
“Look who’s talking,” he screeched. He quickly drew a knife out of his pocket. My heart beat escalated. I was going to die. There was surely no way out. My knee, the nasty cut. It was death or life. I had to make a run. I really did. I swung around as if I were the hands of the clock, and he tripped. I tried to make a run. I thought I could make it. I knew I could. I just sprinted my way, pass all the obstructions. I was going to make it. The exit seemed near enough.
YES! I managed to get out of the warehouse. However, the exuberant feeling was only temporary. I continued to run. There was a van there. The one that cause me all these pain all these trouble. I hopped into the van, whose door was open. With the ignition on, I barely managed to escape.
Just when I was celebrating, thinking all went well, something caught my eye. In my mirror, somebody behind me, and took a knife out and …
(1483 words) Joel Yap
I doubt it would get sent in anyway, im a bit late.
happy valentines day!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
grrrh. wtf.
is failing the better option to gain YOUR attention.
why get me sooooo pissed?
roses are red,
violets are blue
i am angry and angsty
just because of you!
camp;chinese
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
first day of camp was not too bad,
but last day was horrible,
i did not enjoy it.
85.
do grades matter,
all that much?
makedamnsure.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
haha. im just falling in love with that song.
due to some unforseen circumstances,
i doubt i will be like blogging so often now.
from now on, most of the time,
i will blog one odd liners.
and today it will be
i wish things could be what they were.
i miss those times.
seventeefifth.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
haha, my seventeefifth post.
lol. i found out a lot of thing in camp.
haha.
i shall just briefly state the points.
1. choir camp rawks
2. what madam said
3. kenneth is not waht i thought he was
choir camp comm, you did a great job =]
haha,
no matter what madam said.
i think we still did a great job yeah?
haha. ssshmieellleeee x)
i guess there were some specific ppl theat could not be missed.
chris, john see.mainly these two, they comm cant go on without the both of you
haha.
food was not really such a great success. so madam got pissed.
like as usual. hahaha.
cause we kinda overspent for dinner.
aiya, nehmine.
shooots i cramped my fingers.
cause i lied on my arm. haha.
lol.
yes, and the last point is about kenneth.
yes, the choir president one.
i used to think of him as like sadistic.
that kind of not very nice kinda person.
the kind that is quite east to hate.
but now,
i see the other side of him,
the kinder side.
the sacrificial side.
haha.
it feels so wierd,
my last two fingers are cramped
but my three other findgers are okay.
anyway,
after seeing the sacrifice he makes for the choir.
the late nights spent staying up and cleaning up after people,
taking care of the kbl as if its like your house.
taking so much care of it.
i dunno lah. haha.
see his committment,
and be in awe. haha.
sigh
now i have to get pissed.
my father just grabbed the tv control. haha.
nehmine.
goshthisshowissointeresting.
the blame game.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
it doesnt work, trust me.
hmm emotional breakdown.
aiya i dont know lah.
im just really pissed.
a bit lah but nehmine.
sigh.
i dunno lah.
just a lot of things going through my mind lah.
aiya.
i talk about it later lah. maybe if i ever go online.
geog-ing away...
do you mean what you say?
Monday, February 05, 2007
okay, in this post i do not refer to anybody in particular, nor do i want to, or try to be emo.
okay.
do you mean what you say?thats the topic i shall discuss today.
hmm im getting rather sidetracked. lol.
so anyway, lets get back to the topic.
when you say smth, do you mean it?
when you say thank you, do you mean it?
when you say that you are sorry, do you say you are sorry for the
sake of saying it, or do you really mean it, is it from your heart, or are you saying it hypocritacally.
i really wonder.
so i was watching this tv show, some chinese serial. gosh im addicted.
hmm so anyway, some relationship problems, they break up.
is "
lets breaking up" always the option?
why must there be a
break up?
cant ppl resolve the problem?
although they might be pissed with each other,
shouldnt they still TALK about it.
why cant they resolve it properly?
and not just
say those thrree words (no spelling error- i like thrree spelt that way :)
yah.
mutual trust is important.
factors that lead to a
break up:
1. false accusation (no trust)
2. miscommunication
3. unforgiveness (no trust)
i guess thats like kind of about it. but i guess there are some other things to mention.
do you mean what you say?when you say
i love you to your parents, bf/gf,
do you mean what you say?
what if you found out that was the last time you said it to them?
i wonder...
would you just say it how you normally say it
or would there be more
meaning to what you say.
do you mean what you say? hmm...i wonder.
or how about if you just say things for the sake of saying it?
do you mean what you say? hmm. like if you say it so often and sounds like its a chore when you say it.
do you mean what you say? haha, i really wonder.
or do you say it once in a while, but when you say it, its from you heart?
do you mean what you say?haha i wonder if the '
do you mean what you say? ' is freaking you out yet.
hahah.
so which one are you,
quantity or
quality?
dammit! i stained my earohes
sigh.
chinese was fun, i guess.
i enjoyed doing the paper. AHAH.
i finished the paper.
i am expecting to get an A1, hopefully haha.
hmm i plan to slack for a while, then go for a run, again.
i hope i can get fit lah.
im so fattttt.
im so unfitttt.
haha.
then geog!
i think i like geog.
its quite fun lah. haha.
interesting.
lol.
the teacher cant really teach really well but i think i enjoy the subject.
hmm. okay.
like i dunno what to say.
okay then byebye.
mugger
Saturday, February 03, 2007
hey.
im think im a mugger. haha.
oh anyway, i m going to chiong for chinese lah. haha
lol.
hmm, lets see what has happened so far.
i think the week was quite fun and exciting.
although the first part had been really sad till friday.
i <3 fridays!
and that reminds me.
choir camp is in one week. omgomg.
and it coincides with...common tests.
dammit.
hmmnehmine.
i was really happy ytd. haha.
thank jeremy.
haha.
i guess 1 complement is really good. and helps you out a lot.
anyway, as i said before, my chinese tuition left me. x(
my friend told me this: my chinese teacher gave up on herself and used me as an excuse X)
haha. so funny lol...
i got to eat. thenstudy.
but i guess i will stay here a while more.
i just want an A1 for chinese!
i need it, i need it badly.
hmm i guess i should do goal setting here.
english: 74
lit: 80
maths: 92
chinese: 80
life sci: 82
phy sci: 76
geog: 80
history: 80
art: 73
average: 79.67
i really hope i can acheive all these grades. :S
i think i could have done a lot better last year.
didnt do as well as i expected, but did well enuf lah. haha.
okay. i guess i btr eat lunch and STUDY.x(
i wish i didnt need to.
genie out.
WALLS HAVE EARS!
Thursday, February 01, 2007
havent you heard that yet?
saying somethings where you do not want/intend ppl to find out.
but haha. they find out.
so...
AM I A 'SMALL EMO KID'?
if i am, IS THERE A PROBLEM?
no lah...kidding.
im not emo.
maybe small?
but not THAT small lah.
kid?
i think i outgrew that stage.
but sigh.
HAPPY CHINESE BIRTHDAY UNCLE SHAO NGEE!
hahaa.
that was so random.
common tests are coming up so quickly lah.
seconds pass by,
then minutes,
then hours,
then days,
before you even find out about it,
the month is already over.
jesus is coming back soon,
years pass by so quickly.
and ppl just comment about how fast the years/months pass by.
but what do they do about it?
they just talk, no action.
what would you do?
make sure you live everyday with no regret?
or just live days like they originally were?
but, i dont think im emo.
although, at times,
there are periods where ppl go through when they are unhappy,
sad, just not themselves.
after they get pass that period of time,
usually they get happier. (:
haha.
i may have a chance of .... (dont think in THAT manner)
but should i...?