How to save a life the fray
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
so often
hey.
i dunno why im blogging so often lah,
i wonder if that is a good or bad thing.
hmm, ppl are encouraging me to not be emo, haha.
lol, so maybe i wont hehe.
i dunno lah. haha.
i was watching a bit of the arena...
the ppl look really nerd lah 8-)
ahha.
they just look so....
bleahhed. haha
you should look at what they are wearing luh.
looks YUCKKKKKKKKKKK!
anyway, my cousin is one of the judges there.
(guess who. haha)
but even though, i dont really like the teams competing haha.
maybe because acsi didnt take part,
or maybe it did, i dunno lah, haha.
anyway, choir camp is around the corner.
exciting or not, you shall find out and tell me. haha.
i think im like slacking a bit. hehe.
it all boils down to the thing itself.
its like the first 50% is just planning, and the next is the real thing itself, haha.
i shall post a song. x)
laluuurogggggvvvvvvvggggffffhe?
Monday, January 29, 2007
haha. i bet you dont understand what the hell im talking about. haha.
i wont tell =X
lol.
but you can gues.
haha. okay enuf of spaces.
sigh.
im not in the best of moods. haha.
sigh.
i have to study chinese.
and i aim to do well.
i hope to perfect what i do.
do well in everything,
although its highly impossible.
i hope to at least get an 80% overall, sigh.
why do i feel emo-ed?
hmm theres some boiling issue i have to get out of me.
lets go...theres just some person who was my reallyyy close friend,
but now hes like...
i dunno how to put it,
but hes like suddenly damn cold towards me.
probably cause something happened.
nehmine i will just say lah.
okay, you see, i apparently had some R problems, haha.
i think when i blog i kind of maybe like erm...talk to much crap. as in like make things sound like they are really huge but it is not. i just do that too much.
sigh.
anyway, after this thing, there was this kind of miscommunication thingy lah,
he probably misinterpreted this, and then he goes on to like tell the whole world about somethings lah. WHICH IS REALLY PISSING.
sigh. some ppl just like to tell a lot of people about some stuff.
so his mum like knows about it,
and then he goes on to tell like i dunno who else lah. its just....i dunno.
so everybody except my mum knew.
so like they felt it was best not to inform my mum lah.
but as friends, i think she should have told my mum lah.
so anyway, because of this, i think we are kinda a bit strained lah.
i mean its okay, so be it.
BUTBUTBUTBUTBUT, i just heard from my other friend,
he said something that really URKED me.
sigh he go and say some kind of things,
which will make me
hate him.
sigh. why do ppl have to do such things.
so this was what happened:
(person 1 is the person that said ...)
person 1: so you know joel, (said smth bout me lah)
person 2: (interrupts) huh whos joel?
person 1: you know joel yap?
person 2: whos that?
-.-
sigh these kind of things really infuriate ppl.
cmon lah. please. its damn irritating.
you bitch. you fucking bitch.
bleah.
feels better.
itsnotthatidonthavethatfewfriendsoranythinglikethat.
whywouldiwanttomakefriendswithanelevenyearold?
whyshouldi? causeimyourfriend!
buttoobadyoudontseeitinthatlight.
justtoobad.sigh.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSLYN! :D
hey.
happy birthday jesslyn x)
you are already 16!
gosh time flies...
o level year. JIAYOU! ;D
hmm, lets say today was quite good,
but i got a little emotional (in the sad sense)
when i heard someone died.
have you ever thought about these:
what would you do if:
1. you found out that you were going to go into an operation theatre and never come out?
2. you found out your parent was down with the final stage on cancer?
3. you found out you would go to sleep and never wake up?
scary eh?
my mum just visited a wake, where her students sister passed away.
sigh. life is so precious,
before you even cherish it, you lose it.
yeh. so her (this girl's) operation was supposed to be like a 100% as they removed some part of the .... (shall not say) lah.
but actually, during the operation some .... levels were low so they suspected that there was something wrong with the ... and apparently, this ... turned out to be fatal.
seriously, think about it,
what would you do if you were to go into an operating theatre and never come out?
how much different would you choose to live your life?
how different would you treat people around you?
yah, so think about these things. ponder.
straying away.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
welcome to my blog. (:
welcome to my life.
what i write down,
i do so with a knife.
(nah kidding, haha)
hmm, exams are coming up really soon.
in two weeks, i have geog and chinese.
so i better start studying.
i dunno whether to feel nervous, or feel normal.
stress is good,
in the sense that stress does not stress you out.
but stress is good lah.
it pushes you a bit and you get what you can do well.
haha. a new blogskin. and a new blogaddress.
strayingaway. why do you have to stray away?
cant things go back to when it was then?
wouldnt it be so nice and fun.
seems like we are worlds apart now.
but, sigh i dunno.
yawwwwwwwwn.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
hmm, today was quite fun.
i dunno, the beginning of the day SUCKED...
some argument with dad. :S
but at least its over. ;D
haha, okay.
im happy today to a certain extent.
haha, not really really happy but quite.
thanks sze for the wonderful birthday card!
and sze, theo, ethel, and xuanqi for the yummyyy cake!
(: i really didnt expect that to happen lah. i <3 surprises! :)
thats probably the third cake. haha.
BUT NVM. thanks a lot though.
haha.
hmm,
i hate comments from ppl.
those kind of ppl who just want to make your life hell. haha.
sigh, but got to live with it, anyway.
some ppl just bully you.
dont get me wrong.
there are different types of bullying.
1. verbal
2. physical
my bullying is mostly a 1.
verbal not like vulgarly.
but just defiance.
when they tell you this, they do that.
when you tell them not to do this, they purposely do it.
they just want to defy you.
its really irritating.
sigh. haha.
hey. you are like so quiet. so difficult to talk to.
you seem quiet cold.
you seem to like dao me more nowadays. :(
cant things be like they were?
sshmmyleeel
Monday, January 22, 2007
haha. thats smile actually. hmm i blog because i got nothing better to do. no lah, haha.
okay there was something that struck me during fall in today-which i was nearly late, a few seconds from being late, omg, i tell you i was like running for my life lah, it was so scary. haha. but nevertheless, i was early, i mean on time. haha. okay.
so during fall in, there was this talk by sir.
he mentioned something about like what makes you stand out as a prefect?
is it what you wear on the outside like the tie or badge, or is it the inside that really makes you stand out from the rest, to become a prefect?
lets see...this could really be an interesting relection.
provided i dont get distracted by those msn conversations. haha.
lol...okay. hmm.
i guess the main point and the most important thing is the heart. if your heart and intentions are like all wrong, then too bad for you. this will be reflected in your actions very clearly, the outside is just a plain relfection of your innerbeing. BUT, what if you are playing with your emotions, just pretending to feel good when you are actually feeling terrible? i hate these kind of people, just covering up. they just look alright and all that, but it is a lie. although sometimes, i have to admit that i am also like that. but it wont last for long. sooner or later, your real emotions will be shown through your actions. you will be found out by hook or by crook.
whereas, if your heart is right, it is totally a different story. your good deeds will be rewarded as "let your light shine upon men that they may see your good deeds and praise your father in heaven (matt 5:16)"-theme verse for one of the years at JS--oh the memories. yah. so on top of that, ppl will look up to you, not look down. they will see you as a prefect, and wouldnt want to try anything funny and sneaky in front of you. ppl wouldnt want to speak behind your back as they know that you are a true friend to them and they wouldnt want to betray you. they will treat you as a friend who is indespensible (spelling right?). yah. they will enjoy your company as a friend, be glad that you are their friend. teachers would also not
complain about the prefect but he or she could/would even
compliment the student. (two com.. words, so similar yet so different and worlds apart) this is really the difference whether you are a prefect cause of the outside appearance on the inside.
so what does it mean to join the board, why do i want to join it?
i guess there were many reasons, because you want to give to the school. you want to serve the school in some aspects. to actually want to learn how to lead a group of people, lead the student body so that they would soar on eagle's wings and fly ever so freely but unitedly, aiming to accomplish one common goal: to be the light of the world.
restricted access
i am not supposed to be here now...haha
ohwells. :S
workworkwork.
its actually not a lot of work actually.
butbutbut,
im just so
lazylazylazy. :/
mt teacher giving us ting xie tmr. x(
then singsong gives us more work, again.
then he gives some long talk about demerit points. D:
hes not even our CT lah...brrh.
i shall include this for the rest of my posts:... (if i rmb)
mood: neutral, not really happy though, for some wierd reason
song: chasing cars! snow petrol (: thanks xuanqi :)
post #95: OEP
this is written really formal cause this is supposed to be a report submitted to my teacher. haha.
"
OEP Report
By: Joel Yap (2.2)
The Overseas Education Programme at Malacca had been a huge success. On the 13th of January, 6 buses set off for a long ride on the bus. We preceded to the customs at the checkpoint, before heading towards our first stop, Muar Agro-tourism Park, which had been a really muddy experience.
There were four activities lined up for us – kayaking, crossing the river, raft building and the obstacle course. The crossing river activity had been one which would build you confidence because we were made to cross a river by crossing with a rope. We had to try to balance well, control our nerves and excitement before we actually managed to cross the river. It took me two times before I calmed my nerves and was able to cross the river. Some people who were good at balancing just needed one time to cross the river.
The next activity had been the raft building. This really tested our team-building and co-operation skills. If we lacked communication, this would clearly been seen in the faults in our raft, and this could even lead to miscommunication. Fortunately in our group, we had kind of good communication skills so our odds of failing will be slimmer. We managed to co-operate and also bond well as a group, this really helped us a lot in this activity. It somewhat gave us the advantage as some of the other teams were arguing with each other. After building our raft, the next step was to test it out, to make sure that it could actually work and move around. It was quite fun transporting people into the raft, the middle-sized people had to go in first before the smaller people, and the bigger-sized people after, followed by the middle-sized people again. This was to ensure the raft would be balanced, and would not sink. Although my group did not win this activity, I did enjoy myself and it had been such a learning experience.
Unfortunately, due to too much time spent at the other stations, we did not manage to kayak in the end. Most of us were rather disappointed as we were looking forward to kayaking. While we were having our break, a un-ACSian-like incident happened. Some students were playing a fool with their food, an unsightly experience. The students took an uneaten apple that they did not want and just threw it on the ground. This is really unethical. They should have thought about the children suffering in Cambodia, and recently Malaysia-those children that were caught in the flood, not alone just do not have food and shelter, but some even lost their loved ones and come to think of it, they still do such a thing.
After the wonderful time spent at Muar Agro-tourism Park, we finally arrived at our hotel, Jalan Puteri Resort. I did not have too high hopes of our hotel but to my surprise, it was actually quite a comfortable and beautiful resort. It was pretty quiet and serene for a hotel in Malacca. I thought more people would have been there, but other than ourselves the hotel had quite few outsiders. My roommate and I shared a room which boasted mouth-watering scenery. I definitely enjoyed my room and the company of my friend in the room. It had been a pleasant experience staying there.
The second day had been more sight-seeing and somewhat less action. It had been quite interesting as there were quite a number of learning points and opportunities. My favourite museum was the one at the A’Famosa. There was much knowledge in there for us to discover. There were some interesting stories told by the tour guide and she also said some of the palaces, other than a place where the royalty stay, it was used as a place to settle lawsuits. It kind of ensured the daily running of the city.
The highlight of the day was the Batik Art Affair. It was a very fun and it was such a learning experience. It was very fun doing the hands-on part but it was also interesting to learn about the history-how it came about, the real process on how they do the waxing and things like that. I think I enjoyed the hands-on part the best. It was an experience that I could bring back home. I think my artwork was very simple but I liked the fusion. It had been really fascinating. We would use the paintbrush to paint on the cloth and wax. I really enjoyed this experience. If I had a chance to do this again, I would gladly take up the opportunity.
Towards nightfall, we proceeded towards Joker Street – one bustling, noisy and lively street. We set off into our groups and started walking around the street. Our group decided to have some local Malacca Chendol. It had been really flavoursome. It was best eaten when it was cold, just before the ice starts to melt. I tell you it was yummy! After the scrumptious treat, we chose to start walking around the place. We were briefed before that it was quite dangerous to flash your money and belongings around so we took extra caution taking care of our money. There was paraphernalia of objects, ranging from clothes to stickers. The things there were really cheap and reasonable. Although most of us just bought things for ourselves, the main purpose of this outing was to actually scout for object to be brought back to Singapore for our very own Charity Bazaar.
The third day had been quite a humbling one. We started the day of with a ‘Malacca Heritage Trail Treasure Hunt’. It was quite exciting and fun. I thought it would have been much more fun but it was just looking for information. The first few stops had been quite exciting but towards the end of the hunt, it seemed to get more boring. People seemed to be losing interest, some people were starting to skive, and we were not working as a team. This probably caused our downfall. This was the most probable reason that we lost. We could have done better if we worked together and co-operated. Despite failing, I did enjoy myself quite well.
The lunch was not really good. People did not really enjoy the meal, and I was no exception either. I felt that the food could be better and tastier. It was probably the middle of our trip and we miss our home cooked food, got a little sick of eating the same thing repeatedly.
After lunch we began on our CIP hours at the Salvation Army home. It had been a very humbling experience. There were different activities we were assigned to: washing cars, sweeping the grass, getting to know the children in the home, spending time with them etc. I was assigned to wash the vans. We were told that we were supposed to wash around 8 vans but in the end, we just washed around 4 vans. I guess for the first time washing a van, I think I did a decent job. It was quite fun and yet again, a learning experience.
Towards the end of the day, we were at the Tesco Departmental Store. It had been quite interesting as it had been our first time shopping in Malacca. Unfortunately, the shopping variety was very small and then we did not manage to shop much over there. There had been one huge departmental store and a few stores here and there.
The following day, the 4th day was an exciting day. There was some talk on food, some shopping and a long-awaited cooking competition – one where cooking potential will be realised. Hence, we started the day of with the talk on food by some guy named Mr Kenny. He was dressed up in some female traditional costume, as I think he was involved in some TV show which required him to where the costume. He told us a bit on his Peranakan culture, the history and also a bit of cooking tips. He told us about the language as well, which was a mix of Malay, Hokkien and Chinese, so in one sentence you would hear different languages, but all of it would add up to Peranakan. He also shared with us on how you make a dish – the ingredients, the preparation, the method etc. We even managed to sample his food – It had been really mouth-savouring. It was quite interesting to hear him speak about it. For once, I actually listened and enjoyed the speech.
We then proceeded to the Makota Shopping centre in our little groups and started moving around. We had lunch at MacDonald’s before strolling around in our groups. It was really good time to bond and build our friendships and camaraderie. The variety of shops there had been a lot better than the other shopping centre that we went to the previous day. We just walked around, maybe buy a thing or two and then shop for our ingredients that were needed for the cooking competition. We had kind of a miscommunication in our team, something that destroyed the whole team due to some people who were not in the team but wanted to help out. This person really pissed the team off, it infuriated us, as we thought: Why does this person want to help out when he is not in our team? Who does he think he is? When did he become part of the team? This really made most of our team mad. This caused our team’s unity. We then became so disunited, not together, not working as one, working as individual people, alone.
This lasted until the cooking competition itself. Everybody just did not seem bothered, 1 hour into the competition; we still did not start cooking. The preparations took up most of our time. It was so horrible, everybody was arguing. As a team leader, I was supposed to break up their fighting, or war or words, but I just did not do anything. The arguments were getting louder and louder, until our Class Teacher took over. She just told the whole team to shut up. It was too noisy. She had to break up the “fight”. From then onwards, we just started working together, finally. We paid more attention, showed more commitment and focus. We showed that we actually care about the competition, not just sitting down sulking. We managed to whip up a dish which was amazingly quite good. It looked quite appetising. I kind of enjoyed the food. It originally looked like it would fail but I thought actually, we might stand a chance winning. Anyway, we were 2 men down because the both of them were ill. Even though we had the shortage of man power, I think we did a reasonably good job, I am actually quite proud of my team, we managed to come together, despite our differences, to co-operate, be united.
I was supposed to represent my team in the talk. One team member from each team was made to give a 1 minute speech about the food you have prepared, and talk about the fusion, why this dish is considered a fusion, how the dish is made, how it was prepared, and things like that. I was very nervous during my speech. It was totally impromptu, I did not know what to talk about so I just spoke what I felt was right to say. I mentioned a lot on resemblance, like the presentation (the prawns were actually in a circle surrounding the inside). I said about how the circle would be like representing unity, as one group, as one class, as one school, working together towards one goal, one ambition as in the school anthem, it is mentioned that ‘our hearts, our hopes, our aims are one’. I mentioned things like that in my speech, although trembling at most parts; I still think I did quite an okay job, rather mediocre though. At that point of time, I imagined us standing on the stage in school going up the stage receiving the prize from Dr Ong, shaking his hand.
On the final day of our OEP, I was kind of happy and excited, but sad in a way. We are like going to have to part ways, and it would not be so much bonding after all, quite saddening, but from another point of view, it is like almost over, I can finally go home, spend time with my family and friends, and celebrate my birthday (which is 1 day after OEP ends). It was quite a fun time throughout the four days that I was there. On the final day, other than travelling back, we had a fieldtrip to D-Paradise, our last outing at OEP.
D-Paradise is a place of nature, where there are lots of animals – mostly birds, plants too – I remembered there was some cactus garden, and that there was also a pond when there were a number of water lilies. I recalled that there were many things to do there, and there was a show there too. In the beginning, there was a place for us to test some freshly grown fruits. The food tastes really good. Not only is it tasty, but there was a great variety of fruits. It was very juicy and savoury. It was one of the best fruits I had tasted in my life. There were papayas, rambutans and many other fruits. I like the papayas the most! It tasted really good. After that, we ventured around the Village. It had really beautiful sceneries. We had visited and viewed many animals there, such as giraffes, ostriches and many other animals. Midway, we went to watch a show there. It had been rather fascinating and it made me absorbed in the show. There were these performers on stage doing different dances. They danced around shirtless, wearing some costumes. It was quite interesting to watch the same people do different dances, to see how fast they actually change out of their costumes. At the end of the performance, all of us were invited to join them on stage and to dance with them. It was quite funny to actually see our ACS boys dancing, as clearly it was a rare sight. I tried dancing along too; it is quite funny when I dance as I cannot really dance well.
After the experience at D-Paradise, we finally headed home towards Singapore. OEP was a really fun-filled time, where we learn a lot and get together as a class to bond together. On top of that, we got to know each other, and this had been a really special time where we would laugh together, cry together, have fun together and suffer together. OEP 2007 at Malacca had been one OEP which I will never forget, one that will stay with me for the rest of my life.
"
happy birthday john see! :)
Friday, January 19, 2007
hmm, anyway, its an early wish. haha.
sooo,
IM SICK. x(
yah haha.
i am down with flu. so i didnt go to school today.
i watched a bit of australian open! woots!
i love tennis. (:
haha.
but got to rest, its the best way to get well.
haha.
hmm yup.
so anyway,
after going to the doctor,
i went for some lecture at singapore poly, cause i didnt want to pang seh my friend lah.
haha. it would be really bad if i didnt go.
and anyway, the doctor said that as long as there is no strenuous activity, it is okay, so i went lah. strange thing was that, i was the only one in a sch related tshirt. :S
then i was late when i arrived, i came in with the gohs. was damn embarrassing lah. haha.
yah. so i just came in, and then, i was like the only person that took down notes. haha.
lol. hehe. but anyway, there were two speeches.
of which the second one was more interesting. it had been a lot more interactive haha.
yah. some what more interesting.
in the first speech, he mentioned a lot of innovation, damm repetetive. haha.
yah. and then, there was a break.
we had food and all that, quite yummy.
i <3>
yah. hehe.
please cheer up? i hate you in this state. it just makes me feel so horrible. sigh.
what happened?
Thursday, January 18, 2007
so anyway,
i had diarrhoea again. :(
i had like diarrhoea twice today.
i think im getting really sick. sigh.
hmm so anyway, i had some food at coffee club.
i was supposed to go to some steak place, but i felt it was too far.
so in the end, we ate there.
yup.
i only ate like really little of my main course.
yah. and then i had a really feeling desert.
which probably caused my stomach to react lah. haha.
tomorrow i got to look for some teacher.
i wonder if i will be able to join or help out in the prob 3 div 2 team. haha.
sigh.
i hope all will go well.
2007 will just be a time where i would learn alot from.
a year where there will be many experiences.
why do you like become so cold all of a sudden?
what happened to you?
why do you like suddenly become so cold?
is it because like your exams are coming and so you are getting nervous or what?
its just so scary. you are like just not yourself.
just being so like emo-ed. i hope you get better (:
:D
smileeee!
haha, okay so anyway,
thanks to these ppl who wished me:
before my birthday:
1. junyi (twice-toobad you didnt get to stay till later. haha)
2. mark yeo
3. james
4. jeremy
5. clem
6. alton
thankyous(:
ppl who wished me on the real day:
1. ryan
2. clem
3. peiyi
4. chris
5. xuan yang
6. collin x)
(^before 1 am after 12 am)
7. kana (:
8. abel shia
9. dad
10. mum
11. nick hoong
12. abel khoo
13. ming kang
14. annie
15. aunty alice
16. ariessa
17. kev
18. godma carol :D
19. joshua tan
20. aunty lay yan
21. aunty lucy
thats it so far. i will be counting, haha.
frown. D:
i got a tummyache.
i got diarrhoea. :S
sigh.
cause of pastamania?
haha.
so anyway, i celebrated my birthday so far,
with abel, ming kang, and nick hoong, more ppl were supposed to go. but they didnt turn up >D
sigh. haha.
anyway, once again, thanks for wishing me! god bless all of you. :D
happy birthday joel yap!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
haha.
my birthday is coming up really soon, im so excited. haha.
i will be 14! hahaha.
hmm.
fourteen.
another year older another year wiser.
another year to live another year passed.
another year to smile another year of frowns gone.
another year to look forward to another year to reflect.
another year to learn another year to remember.
another year to have fun another year to make new friends.
another year to love another year not to hate.
another year to cry.
hmm,
the tough times are like over.
the cries are gone.
the pain is gone.
the hurt is gone.
the smile is back.
the friendly person is back.
joel yap is back (:
anyway,
after going through a lot of rejection, i managed to learn from it.
haha. learn from rejection.
to see who my real friends are.
who like me for who i AM,
not who my PARENTS are.
haha.
oep was like quite fun. i enjoyed myself.
five ppl have wished me so far:
1. junyi (twice-toobad you didnt get to stay till later. haha)
2. mark yeo
3. james
4. jeremy
5. clem
thankyous(:
ppl who wished me on the real day:
1. ryan
2. clem
3. peiyi
4. chris
lets see.
omg. you got online (:
so lets see. i shall show my gratitude and right down a list of ppl/things which made me happy/made me learn. lets seee how many i will name...
1. thank you God for creating me ((:
2. thank you dad and mum for being such great parents!
3. thank you phoebe for being such a great sis.
4. thank you for being such a great friend. thanks for going through the tough times with me. when i was down, you cheered me up. when i needed someone to depend on, you were there.
when i was sad, you comforted me. when i was happy, you rejoiced with me. thanks for sticking with me for a year! :D
5. thank you collin for being there for me. you have been a reallyyyy good friend! like talking about choir *ahemahem* etc. then shopping at mall of america. levi jeans and pink teeshirts. haha. when i had problems, you were ever ready to help out. when i was sad, you cheered me up, you comforted me. x) thanks for being there for me. thanks for being such a great OM and choir mate. giving me all that advice. :D hope you enjoyed your birthday. and all the best to your IB! get the full 45 points. i know you can do it! x)
6. thank you rayan for being such a great friend too! thanks for being there for me. giving me advice. sharing the sorrow and pain, but also being jubilant and happy when i was. we were really good friends esp after om. its been really good to know you. you have really been such a great friend. one i will never forget.
7. thank you cao! hmm, josh cao, trying to persuade me to be un-emoed, and then at one point to join drama, although i didnt at the end. i still rmb the times where you tried to un-emo me. haha. sometimes, i am just really emotional, and then i cant help it. it is just really difficult. i guess its okay to like to feel angry, or sad, but then you must know to control your anger. sometimes its really difficult to like control it. but sometimes you just have to try your best.
8. thank you prob3div2 haha. you really taught me alot. i still rmb the times i broke down. i felt really bad, really sad. then now, being rejected, not in your team, it will be fine with me i guess. but then i still dont really like it when you call me like bad at this and bad at that, it just makes you really arrogant, i dont like that, i just cant stand it. its just really irritating. joeltang...speechless. haha. nicklaus? hmm you are quite a good friend lah. you are really nice and generous. really helpful. really nice. square. (: thanks for being a friend. waking me up at times when i er...haha. not really awake. just saying something that will wake me up! haha. lol. hmm then there was ryan? haha. im really thankful for you! you have been such a helpful and caring gentlemen. when nishad did.....you ran along with me, you are really someone that i cannot dispose off. someone that you would like as a good friend. some friend that you wouldnt want to lose. thanks for also cheeringme up. esp in worlds, when i got damn pissed with tanger. i still rmb that so clearly. haha. you came along, looked for me, and cheered me up. you told me to forgive him i think. you are really a nice guy! thanks a lot. douglas. haha. you are really one funny guy. i am sorry (i dont think you heard this before:) anyway, i kinda thought that it was you that didnt want me in your om team the last time, i thought you were the mastermind and all that lah. but you were just trying to get the best team, and i clearly understand that. i am really sorry. i didnt mean it. but since now im out of your team, and you probably just heard the news, all the best to your team! and kegan, not forgetting you, one really big and tall guy, some really smart person who is really good at rhymes and lit. haha. thanks for being such a great room mate, being willing to accept me in your room when i was made to sleep with tanger...haha. i still rmb that so well. the memories etched in my mind-i will never forget. anyway, the last person of the team, jeremy! haha, thanks for being sucha great student coach. being so nice, one person i cant forget. although you may be like sadistic at times, you probably have your reasons behind it. i guess you are some guy that we will never forget. haha. speaking of the devil, haha, you just wished me a blessed christmas, not birthday, hehe. haha, but nvm. if i could have a birthday wish, it would be to be less sadistic, please? haha. be a nice person, although you are already quite nice, be nicer! :D okay, thats it for the om side. haha.
9. thanks to alto section `06 and `07! i love you all! :D go alto! thanks for being there for me. being so caring and helpful. as the events of the year passed like haven, the (its twelve oclock im 14!) founders day-sanctus, and then the many other events, like dinner comm too! all the planning, everybody all together. as one comm, as one section, as one choir-oh so united. we worked together so well, we had fun together, we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly, and most importantly, it was a success! a really huge one. haha. i still recall the first day i walked into choir, we got pumped. haha. emil was still our sectional leader, haha. i rmb how un-productive it was lah. everybody was like very disoriented, disorganised. haha. i think it somehow gave me a bad impression of choir. i still rmb john see being there. so small haha. and then he was like disturbing emil a lot, haha, i think he was like throwing tables around lah. haha. but over time, you see how ppl mature, and like how they become a different person over just a year. they are more well mannered, like less ill disciplined. and then you make friends with ppl. its just so nice. getting to know ppl better. haha. the girls were also a fun bunch. they were also really nice. mainly sze, xuan, ethel, theo. haha. i still rmb theo as the tomato, when john see said things that would make theo blush. but last year i also found out that i was a blusher too! haha. rmb all the good times. and then xuanqi, our new sectional leader. haha. then theo, our sectional leader. haha, she was like really good. cause i actually knew my notes well. haha. i still rmb john see, rodney and i standing at the back of the kbl, learning our notes of imagine, haha. was like really fun and interesting. all the good memories flow back into your mind. you want to hold on tight onto what you have, and then you wish you couldnt let it go. but there will be a time when you will have to let go, slowly. i wish things could just remain as it was.
10. thanks to anyone else who was really helpful and nice to me, i wish i had all the time in the world to name all of you out but, sorry, if i didnt record your name down. it doesnt need to be here to prove that you are really my friend. (:
hmm, reflecting could be so long. haha.
keep smiling(:
dumbday
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
crappy. fucky. rubbishy. anything you name it, yes. today was dumb, seriously.
some idiot from my class moved my chair away when i was sitting down.
and yes, i fell down...not on my hand, but my head.
you could hear the knock.
i nearly cried.
it was damn pain, i tell you.
it was damn bad.
it was just swelling up,
some huge bruise.
one that is really painful.
one that is really intentional.
sigh. haha.
i got so many commitments.
sigh.
its not the commitments but its what that happens in the commitments.
one stupid fcuked up remark makes me feel like quitting.
"do you know your notes?"
wtf. hello? cant you see that i have difficulty even in reaching the notes? cant you fucking tell?
can you? GOD! help me! PLEASE!
okay, so anyway, i cant even reach, so even if i KNOW the notes, i wont be able to sing it well right? cmon lah, give me a fucking break, please.
i want a leadership role in my current team in om.
but no....ppl exclude me from things, i hate that,
doing things without like informing the person.
i want to know whats happening too, you know?
grrh....
cant you understand?
i was damn on for om yesterday.
i even creaqted a schedule.
which didnt even work out.
wasnt even a rough guide.
wasted effort.
i just wanted to do something.
but my effort in vain.
nobody knows,
nobody cares.
dammit.
i hate my life.
and it sucks.
somebody advice me?
give me a fucking break.
friend? ...yeah right.
gah
dumbday.
whos my friend? i wonder....
dumb crappy day.
so many commitments.
so many problems.
so many injuries.
so much pain.
the pain will never go away.
Which To Bury; Us or the Hatchet
Monday, January 08, 2007
I think you know what I'm getting at
I find it so upsetting that
the memories that you select you keep the bad but the good you just forget
and even though I'm angry I can still say
I know my heart will break the day
when you peel out and drive away
I can't believe this happened
And all this time I never thought
that all we had would be all for not
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
cause you took this too far
Make your decision and don't you dare think twice
go with your instincts along with some bad advice
this didn't turn out the way I thought it would at all
you blame me but some of this is still your fault
I tried to move you, but you just wouldn't budge
I tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge
I think you know what I'm getting at
you said goodbye and I just don't want you regretting that
and wisdom always chooses
these black eyes and these bruises
over the heartache that they say
never completely goes away
(I just can't believe this happened
and one day we'll see this come around)
what happened to us
i heard that it's me we should blame
what happened to us
why didn't you stop me from turning out this way
and know that I don't hate you
and know that I don't want to fight you
and know that I'll always love you
but right now I just don't...
here i am to worship
Saturday, January 06, 2007
while writing this post, i better bear in mind, the title. haha
okay so lets see, i hated today. i woke up late. so got mum to fetched. i wasnt supposed to disturb her lah., but you see i just made her fetch me. fortunately she offered. (: thanks mum! x)
okay. so anyway, the performance was, i quote from jeremy, very "so-so". haha, true. i totally agree it wasnt the best that we could have done lah. we could have done better, a lot better. sigh. i am equally as guilty lah...sigh.lol. my tone and all that were all so horrible lah. and thats not the worst thign of all lah. i.. er...i didnt know my notes. SSH. if you are from choir you better shuddup =X haha. i feel really bad lah those ppl like came down during the hols performed, and so did i (but i didnt attend the rehearsals). ishg. i ddint know my notes and i performed. i feel bad. and the worst thing is that, er, my outfit was a bit out, okay fine, i admit, it was really stood out lah. my buttons, or wait, "tits" (quoted from clem) haha. it was really bad lah. sigh.
then after that duty..
okay. the first part was oaky, in fact i didnt mind it. i like most parts in fact. but the night before and the debrief was horrible. pain horrible. sheesh. i hated it . i hated those parts. haha. so it all started like this, last night, i was likie checking my mail and found that i didnt get any excuse or aything like that. sigh., i wonder why i didnt. i was like thinking, maybe i would receive an email ? cause i emailed the hr ppl. but no...no reply. os i started fretting. i got peiyi to give me the hr ppls contacts. thanks (: if not i would have to cut myself into two and then attend both activities.i pity douglas, he wouold have cut himself into three haha.
so anyway, i managedafter like, half over hour, i managed to get the hr councillors to help me change my duty to the afternoon one lah. haha. BUT. all was good till debrief...
let me explain. debrief...i think one of the councilors kinda got a bit pissed cause our reaction wasnt really as fast as he wanted it to be. and then it was quite an important thing lah. so he got pissed...haha. okay lets see, so then they asked like any more comments? and like no one replied lah. so then this person reminded u that there was duty on 20th. so i tiried to tell them that i couldnt be able to make it cuase i had my sisters birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLLIN BTW! (haha that was random. his birthday was on the first.) okay. yah, so anyway, he like kinda said, "no. go and send an email" but. obviously as you have read from the earlier part up there about the "communicating to hr through email part", it clearly didnt work. cuase they didnt excues me and all that lah. so i said cause... (behind his back, which i clearly shouldnt have)but. then he replied "cause what"(he clearly heard what i had said behind his back. sorry!) then i wanted to like something lah, but before i managed to, he talked to someone else. so i got really pissed lah, s o i ran away, cause we were dismissed already. yah...so i just ran away as fast as i could, i got pissed, i got mad. grrh. then i went to collect my bag. ran around and all that...then just ran out of school....and went home. i tell you i was pissed i really was. so know i guess you know why i didnt like stay around to communicaate with the rest of the ppl lah...sigh.